Day in the Life of a Camp Toilet
Published by Camp Bookstm
Hi, it’s me. I don’t even know my name. Humans call me a “Toilet” Pfff, what sorta name is that. I’ll just call myself, myself. Anyway, that's enough about my name, it’s my job I want to tell you about. My job, day in, day out, my job, same time, same place, my job. Nobody knows what it’s like to be a toilet, except, of course, a toilet. Always in the same place as before, always. Just stuck there on the grimy ground. All we toilets have is our horrible disgusting job.
P.S - Are you sure you want to venture past this paragraph into the tragic woes of my job???
P.P.S - CAUTION: Putrid stuff ahead - do not read if you are not used to disgusting things - the content may cause weaker readers to collapse.
P.P.P.S - All spew damage will be at the expense of the person responsible. Camp Bookstm will take no responsibility whatsoever.
So here we go. I’m sitting in my cubicle, doing nothing, as per usual. When a human walks in. As the door swings open I catch a glimpse of Outside. The sun rays streaming in above the lush green grass. The sweet smell of honeysuckles amongst the trees. The immense silvery sea shimmering in the light. The breeze tickling me as the birds sing their own sweet song. But now it's gone. That whole world out there, waiting for me, has lost patience at last. The window to my world has closed.
I am prisoner in my own cubicle. I have never gotten used to being used and I don’t think I ever will. Lost in my thoughts I don’t see the two great big overgrown balloons lowering onto me. Now it’s too late, they are on me, and there is no way out.
I brace myself, preparing for the worst. Then it started. A trickle of yellow sludge oozes down my side, hissing as it moved. It slowed down to a steady drip, drop, drip, drop. Suddenly a strangled moaning sound erupts from the mouth of the human above me. A mysterious big brown blob is appearing, getting closer and closer until… it dropped, speeding like a bullet to land with a splash in the lake of lemonade. At long last, the human stands up. “Phew,” I thought “Another job done.” But I had spoken too soon.
“HURRICANE!!!!! My stomach, it’s tossing and turning like mad. What have I ever done to you world!?!?! What have I done!?!?!” I thought. But then it was over, and my stomach was empty. There you go. That's my job. And now it’s done. Wait, that's the door opening, and that's the tap of feet. A human strides in and lowers itself gingerly onto me. “Here we go again.”
Feedback/Feedforward: I like how you have made it really funny but next time you could make your paragraphs shorter. Charlotte H
Evaluation: Thanks Charlotte, I will take that onboard for next time. I agree that I need to make my paragraphs shorter. Other than that I think I have done really well, especially while explaining the outside bit.